Just Amy

I’m sitting here this morning, admittedly anxious about the day.

My social media posts are usually things that bring me joy: my husband, my boys, the break in the Texas summer weather, the comforting 2nd cup of coffee.

But the real of my life is I struggle.

I struggle with medical bills. I struggle with relationships. I struggle with self-confidence and value. I struggle with sickness and disease. I struggle when I see those I love struggle. I struggle with waiting. I struggle with what seems to be unanswered prayers because I can’t see the whole picture. I just struggle.

And too often I get bogged down with the struggles that my perspective becomes clouded and dark. And the evil one begins to whisper in my ear, God doesn’t see. He doesn’t care. He’s not listening. He can, but he won’t. You aren’t good enough. You’re failing. You don’t matter.

And here’s when I have a choice to make. And often it takes me way too long to remember that I have a choice. I can choose to listen to the negative voice that wants me paralyzed or I can fill my mind with what God says in his Word and start living it out.

You would think this would be an easy decision. But I’m here to tell you that, for me, it’s too often not so easy. And I’m sure that’s a flaw in me or even sinful. But in my most vulnerable, honest place, it’s where I am sometimes … ok, many times.

So this morning, in the midst of my happy social media post on the cooler temp and rain, I sat on the patio and asked God speak to me, to ease the anxiety, to even go a step further and give me comfort. Here’s what came to mind, something that I have focused on before.

In John 16, Jesus is talking to his disciples. He’s warning them of all they are about to face, the struggles that will most certainly come their way. In verse 12 he says, “there is so much more I want to tell you, but you can’t bear it now.” I want you to think on that for a moment. Jesus is seeing their future and only revealing partly, in general terms, because their hearts and minds can’t take the anticipation and reality of the details. It must have been a devastating time for those faithful followers of Jesus. And it’s obvious that they just don’t understand.

They physically walked and talked and laughed and learned and traveled and ate and lived in the presence of Jesus. And he’s telling them he’s going to leave. And that life is going to be hard. And they are going to struggle so much that he can’t even tell them about it because would be too much for them to bear.

And he sums all that up at the beginning of verse 33:

” . . . Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows . . .”

I see them maybe looking down in defeat, shifting their weight from one leg to the other. Maybe anger began to arise in their being. Maybe their mind was questioning “why!?”. Maybe there were tears welling up in their eyes. Maybe a blanket of fear.

How sad it would have been if Jesus just stopped there, turned and walked away. He was honest with them. And he was real. Trouble was on the way.

But he didn’t stop there. ” … but take heart, because I have overcome the world. “

Stop. Take a minute and take that in. See the picture here of Jesus and his comfort and tenderness and encouragement.

Read the passage with these images in mind. In their downtrodden posture with the first half of the verse, Jesus sees all that I described above. The desperation, the confusion, fear and sadness in these words:

” … YOU WILL HAVE TROUBLE …”

And Jesus pauses, with a shift of hope in his tone, perhaps a finger raised with piercing affection in his eyes he says, “But take heart … ” And maybe even in the silent moment makes eye contact with them, lifting a chin, or wraps his arm around another, with a smile and grounding confidence says, “I have overcome the world.”

In my mind, after all the words about all the trouble headed their way, in the most confident, simplest terms he want them to hear that HE has overcome it all. Nothing is greater than Jesus, THE Overcomer. Not finances. Not jobs. Not hurts. Not sorrow. Not sickness. Nothing this world can do or offer or give or take away. He has overcome it all.

And because of this, we no longer just have comfort … we have hope.

But lets go back to the choice I have to make. The choice you have to make in your struggle too.

Do I choose to remain in the place of anxiety, in the cloudy perspective? The circumstances haven’t changed. There was no Thanos-like snap of the finger to make it all better. He said I would have trouble here. But I have to make the choice to believe in the Overcomer and choose Hope.

Which will I choose today?